Today in sports history

I'm not much of a boxing fan these days, but 35 years ago today, George Foreman defeated Smokin' Joe Frazier for the heavyweight championship of the world. That was in the days when he was a boxer, and not a fat-reducing-grill salesman.

Also, 20 years ago today, Larry Holmes came out of retirement at age 38, in an ill-advised attempt to regain HIS heavyweight title. His opponent? A 21-year-old future felon by the name of Michael Gerard Tyson, 14 months after Iron Mike had become the youngest heavyweight champion in history. That was in the days when he was a boxer, and not a tattoo-faced rapist.

The last boxing match I watched was Tyson's 89-second embarrassment of Peter McNeeley in 1995. I won $50 on that fight, because I and the people I watched it with all threw in $5 for a pool on how quickly the fight would end. I think I had one minute, which was the closest without going over.

Finally, 10 years ago today, the very worst team name in the history of major North American professional sports was chosen. The Minnesota Wild. Ugh. Awful. It actually hurt my fingers to type those words. Other abominations: the Miami Heat, the San Antonio Rampage and Syracuse Crunch of the AHL.

You may have noticed I said "major" North American pro sports: That's not counting Major League Soccer, pockmarked with European-sounding team names like F.C. Dallas and the D.C. United and Real Salt Lake. But if you're counting soccer, the worst of all is Chivas USA. It's the name of a liquor, followed by the name of the same country the rest of the teams play in. At least the Minnesota Wild is just stupid; Chivas USA actually offends me.