1-15, here we come

Brady Quinn had by far his best day as a pro in yesterday's game against the Lions, and when he completed his fourth touchdown pass of the day to Michael Gaines, it looked good for the Browns to get their second win of the season. A Jamal Lewis run for a 2-point conversion gave the Browns a 37-31 lead with 5:44 to play. But ...

Phil Dawson's kickoff went out of bounds, giving Matthew Stafford and the Lions the ball at the 40. Fortunately, the drive ended with a Brodney Pool interception at the goal line with 3:40 left on the clock, giving Quinn and the Browns' offense the chance to put it away. The Browns managed to get one first down, taking the ball as far as their own 42 before they had to punt -- forcing the Lions to use the rest of their timeouts in the process.

Browns punter Reggie Hodges is no Dave Zastudil, but he sure did his job on this one, punting it 47 yards to the Lions' 11, where former Brown Dennis Northcutt fielded it and returned it one yard to the 12. So with 1:46 to go, the Lions had to go 88 yards with no timeouts. ... And the Browns employed what we all know to be the worst defensive scheme in the world, the prevent. It's intended to prevent big gains by allowing smaller ones. And in Eric Mangini and Rob Ryan's defense (no pun intended), it almost worked. The Lions did manage a few 11- to 17-yard gains, but their receivers were unable to get out of bounds to stop the clock, so at least in theory, the time off the clock was worth the yardage for the Browns.

When the clock got to 0:08 with the Lions having the ball at the Browns' 32, things were looking pretty good. They had one shot, maybe two, at the end zone. They might have been able to complete a quick pass to the sideline to get a little closer, but that's a risky proposition because the Browns were covering the sidelines pretty well. So they took one shot at a touchdown. The Browns put on a three-man rush and dropped everybody back to cover the end zone. It worked like a charm, as Pool intercepted Stafford's hail mary.

But Hank Poteat pulled the boner of the year, tackling a receiver who probably wouldn't have had a shot at the ball anyway. A defensive pass interference call in the end zone gives the offense the ball at the 1, and because the game can't end on a defensive penalty, the Lions got one more chance even though there was no time left on the clock. But Stafford got hurt on the previous play, meaning the Lions had to send out a completely un-warmed-up Daunte Culpepper to run the play. The Lions had no timeouts left, so there was nothing to be done about it. Presumably, Culpepper would just hand the ball off, since you can't expect a cold quarterback to throw the ball, or even run it himself.

And that's when Mangini pulled the coaching boner of the year, calling a timeout that gave the Lions a chance to evaluate Stafford and decide he had one more play in him. I understand that Mangini wanted to take a minute and make sure he had his defense set up properly, but it seems he totally failed to take into account the benefit the Lions would derive from a timeout. As we all know, Stafford came in and threw a touchdown pass that tied the game, and Jason Hanson's extra point ended it.

Hank Poteat feels awful for causing that penalty, and while it was a stupid thing for him to do, it was done in the heat of battle. Mangini has no excuse for calling that timeout.

The Browns have six games left. The schedule goes like this: Cincinnati (currently 7-3), San Diego (7-3), Pittsburgh (6-4), Kansas City (3-7), Oakland (3-7), and Jacksonville (6-4). The Raiders have looked terrible at times, but they managed to beat the Bengals yesterday behind backup quarterback Bruce Gradkowski. If he plays, the Browns will lose that game. Kansas City has had a bad year too, but they beat the Steelers yesterday. I have a hard time imagining the Browns managing to get another win this year. Yesterday's game was their best shot, and they blew a 21-point lead against one of the NFL's worst teams. This team is cruising for 1-15, which would make them the worst team in Browns' history -- even worse than Tim Couch's 2-14 expansion team in '99.

The Onion picks on LeBron

No doubt playing off LeBron James' recent announcement that he would shed the number 23 in honor of Michael Jordan, and asked other players to do the same, the fine satirists at The Onion have put up a story about LeBron deciding to stop jumping during games, because that's what MJ did best. And yes, he wants other players to stop jumping too.

It's a joke, of course, but like a lot of The Onion's content, the headline is funnier than the story. And it ends with a mention of LeBron going out after making this statement and scoring 38 points Wednesday against the last-place Wizards with his feet flat on the floor. He did in fact score 34 points in a loss to the Wizards. They might as well have gotten that detail right.

Countdown to The Game

Yes, Ohio State plays Michigan at noon tomorrow. Yes, in this part of the country, that's always a big game. But it's been quite a while since The Game has meant this little. In recent years, at least one of the teams has always been playing for a BCS berth, if not a spot in the National Championship game.

This year? The Buckeyes are going to the Rose Bowl, win or lose; and the Wolverines are just trying to get out of last place in the Big Ten. At 5-6 overall (1-6 in the conference), Michigan would be bowl-eligible with a win, but so the heck what? These are not the Wolverines of Bo Schembechler or Lloyd Carr. This is perhaps a slightly better Michigan team than the one that went 3-9 (2-6) last year, but Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez has probably got one more season to turn this thing around.

The Buckeyes are 13-point favorites tomorrow, but if they don't win by at least 20, they should be embarrassed. And they do at least have a national ranking to play for. They could get into the top 10 in the nation with a win tomorrow in Ann Arbor. If they then win the Rose Bowl, maybe they get into the top five. It's not a national championship, but I'd take it.

I'm not sure how I feel about Michigan being so cruddy right now. Sure, it's nice that we get a chance to whale on them, but part of being an Ohio State fan is being involved in arguably college football's biggest rivalry. If Michigan sucks, what rivalry is there?

Cavs' streak ends

The Cavaliers' five-game winning streak came to an end last night in a 108-91 loss to a Washington Wizards team that broke its own six-game losing streak in the process. How can this be? Well:

• Antawn Jamison was playing his first game of the season, after missing the Wizards' first nine games with a shoulder injury, and returned with a vengeance, scoring 31 points and pulling in 10 rebounds. He was a monster.
  
• The Cavaliers were playing the second night of a back-to-back, on the road, while the Wizards had been off the previous three days. And it was pretty obvious that played a part, as the Cavs got off to a fast start — up 17 in the second quarter — but faded down the stretch.
  
• The Cavs were without Shaquille O'Neal or Anderson Varejao, which left them with a combination of a suddenly very old Zydrunas Ilgauskas, J.J. Hickson and Darnell Jackson to man the post. And they simply couldn't hang. Z and Jackson each scored 10 points, but Hickson had his worst game in recent memory.
• Mo Williams, a very hot-and-cold shooter, was cold as ice in this one, going 2-for-13 from the floor.
• The Cavaliers committed 26 fouls, to the Wizards' 15. Whether that's because the Cavs actually fouled more or because the officials were calling the Cavs more tightly in enemy territory, it was definitely a factor. The Wizards went 31-of-35 from the line, the Cavaliers 14-of-15. That 17-point edge is equal to the differential in the final score.
  
• And the man the folks all pay to see, LeBron James, had a bad second half. He put up typical numbers — 34 points, nine assists — but turned the ball over six times, committed four fouls plus a technical, missed some shots badly, and while he had some fine moments, he totally failed to take control of the game. He also hurt his left wrist on a dunk, though it seems unlikely that it will make him miss any time. Hey, even superstars have off nights.

Speaking of that technical foul, it came after one of the most ludicrously bad calls I've ever seen in my life. LeBron drove the lane and was practically tackled by DeShawn Stevenson, but the official called a freaking jump ball. I can't imagine what he was looking at.

The Cavaliers now stand at 8-4, half a game ahead of Milwaukee for first place in the Central Division. This is a very good team that had a bad night.

Whatever, LeBron

So LeBron James is going to give up his #23 next year in honor of his hero, Michael Jordan. That's all well and good. I thought it was kind of dumb for him to choose that number in the first place, given that it was already associated with a player that many observers consider the greatest of all time. I felt he should have chosen a different number and blaze his own trail. But he chose #23 to honor Jordan, and now he wants to give it up for the same reason.

But he isn't stopping there. He wants all NBA players to give up #23. And he has precedent to lean on, from other sports. Major League Baseball has retired Jackie Robinson's #42, and the NHL has retired Wayne Gretzky's #99, so why shouldn't the NBA do the same?

Well, if you ask me, both of those gestures were silly to begin with, but regardless, they're different situations. Robinson's number wasn't retired because he was a great player (though, of course, he was). It was retired because he was the player who broke the color line. Really, that example has no bearing on LeBron's idea.

Gretzky is a much closer comparison. There are very few observers who do not believe Gretzky was the greatest who ever played hockey, and that's why his number is retired. But the thing about Gretzky's number is that he was given #99 to begin with because everybody knew he was special. As far as I know, he's the only player ever to wear #99 in hockey. It would be sacrilege for any other player to even consider it. There have been dozens and dozens of #23's in basketball. Sure, everybody associates it with Jordan, but it's obviously far from unthinkable for other players to wear it, unless they're playing for the Bulls. And while Jordan may be the consensus choice for greatest ever, can we all agree that he was better than Oscar Robertson or Bill Russell or Wilt Chamberlain or Magic Johnson or Larry Bird or ...? I'm not prepared to make that judgment. And you can't retire all those numbers league-wide.

So I don't see any reason for the NBA to retire #23 for every team, but I do think it's a positive step for LeBron to give it up, so he can have a number that's not already associated with one of the all-time greats. The number he's switching to? It's #6, the number worn by his second-favorite player, Julius Erving. ... Oh, LeBron.

I just hope that whatever number he winds up with, it's on a Cavaliers jersey.

Browns sell out, Lewis pops off

So it seems the Browns sold out Monday night's game against the Ravens just in time to avoid a blackout. I guess enough people are eager to see Brady Quinn's triumphant return (OK, his return, anyway) to the starter's job. I don't have high hopes for him or the team in general, but as it turns out, I've got Tuesday off from work, so I'll stay up and watch it. That doesn't mean I'm happy about how late it will start, but I keep harping on that, and even I'm tired of hearing me say it.

In other Browns-related news, Jamal Lewis popped off yesterday about how hard Coach Mangini is working the team. Money quote: "You can work hard as you want. You can work all day, seven days a week all the way up to Sunday in practice. But at the same time, if you're going to work like that, then maybe on Sunday you're probably not going to get what you want out of your players."

Lewis went on and on like that. Lewis is frustrated, as well he should be. He's having the worst season of his 10-year career as an individual, and this is no doubt the worst team he's ever played on. I don't think he should be running his mouth to reporters instead of talking to his coach, but since he's planning to retire after this season anyway, he really has nothing to lose. I'd bet there are other players on the team who feel the same way, and maybe they're right. I liked the Mangini hire when they made it, but now I'm thinking he was the wrong guy at the wrong time.

We need mo' Mo

In a rematch of last year's Eastern Conference Finals, the Cavaliers took the Orlando Magic to the woodshed last night, in a game that was never as close as the final score indicated. The Cavs' lead was in the 20s all night, until the Magic outscored them 25-14 in garbage time, aka the fourth quarter.

We were all anxious to see how Shaquille O'Neal would do against Dwight Howard, who manhandled the Cavs in the aforementioned series last spring, and he did not disappoint. Though Howard did not miss a shot from the floor, he only took three, and finished with 11 points. He was also in foul trouble for much of the contest. (As was Shaq, I might add.) Shaq only scored 10, but his job is no longer to be the offensive force he used to be — not on a team with LeBron James.

Speaking of the King, he was his usual self, pouring in 36 points to go with eight rebounds. And Mo Williams was just phenomenal in leading the Cavs to their big first-half lead — they were up 15 at the half, led by Mo's 22 points on 9-for-9 shooting, including four three-pointers. Mo cooled off in the second half, but still wound up with 28 on the night.

And J.J. Hickson, starting at power forward, made a real positive conribution. Hickson had nine points and six rebounds in just 23 minutes, and always seemed to be around the ball. Hickson's plus-minus for the game was +13, which was tops on the team.

Next up, the Cavs have Dwyane Wade and the Heat tonight. It'll be a tough assignment, coming on the second day of a back-to-back, but I look forward to seeing it.

A satisfying Belcher

New Tribe manager Manny Acta has begun assembling his staff, starting with new pitching coach Tim Belcher. Belcher grew up in Sparta, Ohio, about a two-hour drive from Progressive Field down I-71. He pitched 14 seasons in the bigs, winning 146 games. He spent the last eight years with a much longer title in the Indians organization: special assistant to the baseball operations department. You don't know what that means? Well, according to Paul Hoynes' Plain Dealer article:

As a special assistant, Belcher worked with the Indians player development system in instructing and evaluating pitching talent at every level in the minor league system. He also scouted other teams, providing advance scouting reports for the last several years for the Tribe's big-league coaching staff.

It's hard to evaluate managers, and even harder to evaluate pitching coaches, especially pitching coaches who have never been pitching coaches before. We do know that the Indians have developed a few fine pitching prospects the last few years, with varying degrees of success at the big-league level, and perhaps Belcher deserves some credit for that. But perhaps not.

Who's the worst?

Now that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have erased the goose-egg in their win column, there are no winless teams left in the NFL. So there are now five teams tied with the worst record, at 1-7: Tampa Bay, St. Louis, Kansas City, Detroit, and ... well, you know who the fifth team is. So those teams are in a race of sorts for the first pick in the 2010 draft. If the Browns get that pick, it will surely rescue the franchise, as we've seen how well this organization has done with the first overall pick. (OK, that was unfair. The Tim Couch and Courtney Brown selections were made several regimes ago; even the owner has changed since then. Still, it goes to show that a top pick is far from a panacea.)

But the question for today's post is not which team is most likely to get the top draft pick. The question I wish to explore is, which is the worst team in the National Football League? Let's take them all individually, in no particular order, using the major stats along with a few lesser-considered ones:

1. Browns: Lose by an average score of 26.1 to 9.8 (-16.3); 31st in total offense; 32nd in total defense; 31st in third-down conversions; 23rd in opponents' third-down conversions; -11 in turnover ratio (which, by the way, is 32nd in the NFL).

2. Chiefs: Lose by an average score of 25.6 to 15.8 (-9.8); 30th in total offense; 30th in total defense; 32nd in third-down conversions; 22nd in opponents' third-down conversions; +1 in turnover ratio.

3. Rams: Lose by an average score of 27.6 to 9.6 (-18); 26th in total offense; 27th in total defense; 24th in third-down conversions; 32nd in opponents' third-down conversions; -7 in turnover ratio.

4. Buccaneers: Lose by an average score of 28.9 to 16.8 (-12.1); 28th in total offense; 29th in total defense; 25th in third-down conversions; 29th in opponents' third-down conversions; -2 in turnover ratio.

5. Lions: Lose by an average score of 29.6 to 16.6 (-13); 25th in total offense; 25th in total defense; 16th in third-down conversions; 16th in third-down conversions allowed; -4 in turnover ratio.

These are all dreadful teams, obviously. The Chiefs are the only ones who lose by less than 10 points a game, probably because they're also the only ones with a favorable turnover ratio. The Lions have the best rankings in the other stats I chose.

So that leaves the Browns, Bucs and Rams for the title of worst. The Rams have been outscored the most, the Browns take the cake for worst combination of yards gained vs. yards allowed. The Buccaneers have no such claims, so it's between the Rams and Browns. I think the Browns have managed to do slightly better on the scoreboard, despite the obvious inferiority of their main units, because of the superiority of their special teams. We all know about Josh Cribbs, and the Browns' one win this season was largely because of a great effort by Dave Zastudil and the punt team.

So the worst team in the NFL is the St. Louis Rams, with the Browns a very close second. Does anybody wonder why there are still tickets available to next Monday's game against the Ravens? Why would anyone want to stay out past midnight on a school night to watch the NFL's second-worst team most likely get clobbered? I'm kind of hoping that game doesn't sell out, because then it will be on TV, and I'll feel compelled to waste my evening watching it.

Pryor shines in homecoming

The Buckeyes are in control of their own destiny — at least in terms of winning another Big Ten title — in large part because of Pennsylvania native Terrelle Pryor's big game in his home state. Pryor passed for two touchdowns and rushed for one in Ohio State's commanding 24-7 victory over Penn State, and while his overall numbers weren't particularly impressive (8-for-17 passing for 125 yards; five rushes for 50 yards), he made some big plays and avoided any major mistakes. He missed an opportunity for a touchdown at the end of the first half when his throw to a wide-open Dane Sanzenbacher went long, but that was probably the biggest mistake he made, and you'll take that every time.

The Buckeye defense was fantastic, particularly against the Nittany Lions' running game. Evan Royster, who had averaged 95.4 yards a game coming in, went for just 36 yards on 13 carries yesterday, his lowest total of the season. They also held Daryll Clark to 125 yards passing, which was also his lowest total of the year; and got him for one interception, Ross Homan's pick midway through the fourth quarter, which short-circuited Penn State's attempt to mount a comeback.

If the Buckeyes can beat Iowa next week in the Horseshoe, they'll go to the Rose Bowl no matter what happens the following week against Michigan; the other teams that could tie them at 6-2 in the Big Ten would be Iowa, Penn State and Wisconsin, which they would all have beaten this year under that scenario. And you have to like their chances against Iowa, as it appears Hawkeye quarterback Ricky Stanzi will miss the game after hurting his ankle in yesterday's loss to Northwestern. The Hawkeyes showed in that game that they aren't the same team without Stanzi, who probably would have led them to victory against the Mildcats.

Obviously, there will be no Big Ten team in the national championship this year, but if the Buckeyes get into the Rose Bowl and win it, they could get back into the top 10, and maybe even the top five. And if they do win the Big Ten, it would be the fifth straight year they've won or shared that title. That's definitely worth rooting for.

Baseball season is over

It had been nine years since the Yankees were able to spend their way to a championship. They came close in a couple of epic World Series — that 2001 series against the Diamondbacks was probably the best World Series I can remember — but fell each year to a team that had a lower payroll. Usually a much lower payroll. Last year, they didn't even make the playoffs, thanks to a bunch of young upstarts from Tampa Bay.

But these Yankees, the most expensive team ever assembled, would not be denied. All their high-priced stars contributed somewhere along the way, from A-Rod to CC to Jeter to Godzilla, the series MVP. (Speaking of which, they say he's got to go ...)

It's kind of hard for me to reflect on this series in any meaningful way, because (a) there wasn't much late-game drama, and (b) though I tried my best, I didn't manage to get through one single game without falling asleep, because they started so late and I get up early. I did wake up for the ends of a couple of them, including last night, but ... well, I won't belabor the point. (See my October 30 post for more thoughts about the time the games started; I would add that last night's game ended at almost midnight.)

And the New York Yankees have won their 27th title. I suppose we should be glad to have had eight seasons in there with someone else hoisting the trophy. May we go at least eight years before their next one.