Brazilian reasons to love soccer

Yes, I was rooting for the United States, of course, but I just can't pass up a pun. I recognize this as a weakness.

Regardless of who won, that game between the U.S. and Brazil yesterday in the Confederations Cup final was quite a thrill. For those who don't know, the Americans, who had upset Spain to get to the final, were a heavy underdog against the Brazilians, but scored twice in the first half, leading to a 2-0 advantage at the break. It was an ominous sign when Brazil scored just a minute or so into the second half, and they did go on to vanquish the upstarts from the Northern Hemisphere, 3-2. But it sure was fun to see our countrymen hang in there like that in a game that is about our sixth or seventh most popular sport.

Think about this: Generally speaking, if you're a good athlete growing up in the States, not only are you more likely to play the big three team sports (baseball, football or basketball), you might be almost as likely to play golf, tennis or hockey as soccer. Sure, a lot of kids play more than one sport, and soccer's more popular among the generation born in the '80s and '90s than it is with my generation, but there still aren't too many kids playing soccer in this country. In Brazil, which has a population about the same size as the United States', each child is given a soccer ball at birth and kicks it constantly for the rest of his or her life.

I admit I'm not all that familiar with the structure of international soccer, so I didn't realize until after the game that every single soccer-playing nation on earth was eligible to win this tournament. The U.S. came in second. That, right there, is the highest point in the history of American soccer. Savor it, folks.

Attaboy, Jeremy!

It sure was good to see Jeremy Sowers finish the seventh inning and only give up two runs in last night's 9-2 win over the Reds. Sowers is now 2-5, and he lowered his ERA to 5.44. And for once, the bullpen didn't make it interesting, as Jensen Lewis got all three outs in the eighth (albeit after walking two), and Tony Sipp pitched a perfect ninth. Sipp, who turns 26 in a couple of weeks and has been up and down between Cleveland and Columbus this year, now has a 3.38 ERA. With a bullpen as bad as this one, it's kind of a mystery why he hasn't gotten more of a chance. If he keeps pitching like this, he will.

But the story last night was Sowers. I recently saw some numbers about how Sowers has done each time through the other team's batting order, and unfortunately I don't remember where I saw them and can't find them right now, but basically, he's been mowing them down the first time through, getting a little bit more reachable the second time through, and then getting absolutely battered the third time through.

The same thing happened last night. The only difference is, Sowers was almost totally untouchable the first two times through the order; the Reds' only hit until the third time through was by Jonny Gomes, who singled in the second inning. The third time through the order, they were 4-for-9, and the last pitch Sowers threw was the one Reds leadoff hitter Willy Taveras smoked for a double to score Chris Dickerson, who had singled to start the inning.

But hey, Sowers struck out six in his seven innings of work and only walked one, and kept the ball in the yard. Any pitcher who can do that on a regular basis will win a lot of games.

Come on already!

Does anyone remember the 1988 group that the Plain Dealer's Paul Hoynes dubbed the Bullpen From Hell? His colleague, Bud Shaw, proposed this week that the current Indians bullpen should replace them with that moniker, and he's quite right. This is a terrible, horrible, awful bullpen.

They did it again last night in Pittsburgh. After Cliff Lee turned in a typical performance for him — seven innings, two runs — Eric Wedge had little choice but to call on one his relievers to pitch the eighth and ninth of what was then a 2-2 game, as Lee had thrown 115 pitches.

The eighth was very dicey, as Joe Smith walked both the LaRoche brothers after striking out Freddy Sanchez, and Rafael Perez followed by walking Brandon Moss to load the bases. He got out of it with a double play, but man oh man, your relievers can't be walking the bases loaded in the eighth inning of a tie game. That's a recipe for disaster. And by the way, the two outs Perez got lowered his ERA to 9.70. The fact that Wedge keeps having to give the ball in late-inning pressure situations to a guy who gives up more than a run an inning speaks volumes about this "relief" crew.

Enter Matt Herges in the ninth. The 39-year-old veteran made his first appearance for the Tribe on May 7, and had a fine May, entering June with a 1.13 ERA. His June? Yeah, not so good. He entered last night's game having given up seven runs in 6 2/3 innings this month, for a 9.45 ERA. The difference is right there in the strikeout column — he struck out 14 in 16 innings in May, and just two of the 20 outs he's gotten in June have come via the K. Regardless, he sure didn't get the job done last night. He didn't record an out, the three hitters he faced all singled, the last of the three bringing home the first of the three, and that was the game.

This is getting pathetic. I don't know what needs to be done, but I will say this: If Eric Wedge is still the manager when the 2010 season opens, I'll be surprised.

SHAQ!

Well, ladies and gentlemen, this one's a mind-blower. Two future Hall of Famers on the same team at the same time, right here in Cleveland. LeBron and Shaq. Shaq and LeBron. When this trade was rumored a couple of weeks ago, I'm sure we all thought it was too good to be true. But yet, here it is. Shaquille O'Neal is going to become a Cleveland Cavalier. Wow!

Yes, it's true that he's 37 years old, and is no longer the player he was in Los Angeles, or Orlando, or even Miami. But jeez, the guy still scored 17.8 points and hauled in 8.4 rebounds a game last year for the Suns, shot 60% from the floor and made his 15th All-Star team. Nobody's going to tell me you wouldn't take that kind of production next year. (And yes, I know he won't score like that when he's sharing the offense with LeBron. Still, though, he'll take a lot of that offensive pressure off the King.)

This will most likely mean Zydrunas Ilgauskas will come off the bench next year, and that's a good thing. Z is one of my all-time favorite Cleveland athletes, but his 34-year-old body is starting to break down. With Z and Shaq splitting the minutes at center, that's going to allow both of them to stay fresh down the stretch and into the playoffs, which is huge.

The best part about this deal is the Cavs gave up next to nothing. Ben Wallace is at the end of the line, and will probably retire. Sasha Pavlovic didn't contribute much last season, as the Mo Williams acquisition made him fairly redundant. The 46th pick in the draft doesn't usually amount to much.

Shaquille O'Neal is coming to Cleveland. This is a good day to be a Cavs fan.

The old Feller can still bring it ... sort of

For those who missed it, the greatest Indian of them all is still in game shape, at age 90. Bob Feller pitched to three batters Sunday in Cooperstown, in the old-timers' game that has replaced the annual exhibition game between two major-league teams. He didn't get any of them out, but none of them got more than a single, and all three are significantly younger than Feller. (Paul Molitor is 52, Bobby Grich is 60, and Steve Finley is 44.)

This piece on Sports Illustrated's website about the oldest living Hall of Famer's appearance in Cooperstown is worth the read.

Losing streak is over, but bullpen blues continue

David Huff turned in the best pitching performance of his fledgling major-league career last night, and earned the right to relax through an easy ninth inning, leaving the game with a 5-0 lead. But that isn't what happened.

Winning and losing is the important thing, and I don't want to lose sight of the fact that the Indians won last night. But what Matt Herges and Kerry Wood put us through in that ninth inning sticks in the mind. Let's recap: After Huff's eight-inning masterpiece, in which he shut out the Pirates on four hits, Herges came in and immediately blew the shutout, giving up a leadoff home run to Adam LaRoche. Then he gave up a single to Robinzon Diaz. Then an Andy LaRoche groundout sent Diaz to second. Then pinch-hitter Brandon Moss doubled Diaz in. And that was it for Herges, who left with the score 5-2 and the runner on second his responsibility.

Wood, who's been maddeningly streaky this year and is on a very bad jag, came in and gave up an RBI double to Jack Wilson. Then he struck out pinch-hitter Delwyn Young with some high cheese, in the only at-bat of the inning in which the pitcher looked halfway decent. That made it two outs, with the score 5-3. Next, an Andrew McCutchen single scored Wilson from second. Then Wood walked Nyjer Morgan, who represented the winning run. Then he walked Freddy Sanchez, sending the winning run to second. That brought up Adam LaRoche, who you may recall led off the inning with a homer off Herges. Tell me you watched that ninth inning and didn't picture LaRoche sending a screamer into the outfield and scoring two.

Well, LaRoche did hit it pretty hard, but it landed in the glove of Mark DeRosa in right field, and the Indians are now on a one-game winning streak. But it shouln't have been that difficult.

On a more positive note, it was great to see Grady Sizemore back, and getting two hits, including his second triple of the season, which scored the Tribe's first two runs. He also made some nice catches. So that's a good sign.

For those keeping score at home, the Indians are back in last place, a game-and-a-half out of fourth, and 10 games out of first. If they're going to do it, they've got to make a move in the standings very soon. But I have serious doubts about whether they can do it with these arms in their bullpen.

Indians continue losing

I know what you're probably thinking when you look at that headline. Duh, right? Well, yeah. The Indians have lost a season-high six straight, and several of those games have been particularly painful, including the one my lovely fiancee and I attended Wednesday, on my birthday. (For the record, the Indians haven't won since I was 37.)

The key problem has been the bullpen, as we know, though the starting rotation hasn't been great either. A quick review of the relievers' performance against the starters' in the six-game stretch:

* 6/15, vs. Brewers: Carl Pavano had one of his worst starts of the year, giving up six runs in five innings, but left with an 8-6 lead. The Indians go on to lead 12-7 before a six-run eighth inning at the expense of Luis Vizcaino, Matt Herges and current minor-leaguer Rafael Perez gives the Brewers a 14-12 win. The relievers gave up eight runs in four innings.

* 6/16, vs. Brewers: Jeremy Sowers took the loss in this one, but still only gave up three runs in his five innings of work, and left with the score 3-2 in Milwaukee's favor. Jensen Lewis did all right in his first two innings of relief, but went on to give up three runs in the eighth. The Tribe came back to score two in the bottom of the ninth, but couldn't make up the deficit in what turned out to be a 7-5 game. The bullpen gave up four runs in four innings.

* 6/17, vs. Brewers: This is the game we went to, and it started late because of rain. Not that that's important, but I'm just sort of thinking out loud, as it were. It's my blog, and I'll think out loud if I want to. Anywhat, starter David Huff struggled through five innings, but still only gave up three runs. It was tied at three going into the seventh, but Joe Smith was in his second inning, and couldn't hold them. Smith, Herges and Vizcaino gave up five runs over the last four innings of regulation. After the Indians sent it to extras with a stirring four-run bottom-of-the-ninth comeback, Kerry Wood pitched a perfect tenth, and current minor-leaguer Greg Aquino was lucky to get out of the 11th with just one run scored. The Indians weren't able to get a run in the bottom of the 11th, and it was a 9-8 loss. The bullpen gave up six runs in seven innings.

* 6/19, at Cubs: The Indians gave starter Cliff Lee a 7-0 lead to work with, but he started to let the Cubs creep back in, giving up a solo homer in the fifth and another one in the sixth. He left with a 7-2 lead after giving up a leadoff single in the eighth, and that runner would score with Smith on the mound. So Lee went seven and gave up three. From there, the bullpen completely imploded. Smith gave up three of his own (two were unearned), and Wood blew his third save in his much-anticipated return to Wrigley Field, forcing another extra-inning game. Vizcaino was the loser after walking Alfonso Soriano, letting him steal second, and then giving up an RBI single to Ryan Theriot. The bullpen gave up five runs (three earned) in 2 2/3 innings.

* 6/20, at Cubs: Starter Tomo Ohka struggled, but battled, through six innings, giving up four runs, but left with a 4-3 deficit. For once, Lewis, Herges, Smith and Perez held them tough while the Indians tied it in the seventh, then scored the go-ahead run in the top of the 13th in their third consecutive overtime game. But Wood totally imploded in the bottom of the 13th, blowing his fourth save of the season as he gave up the tying run on a single and the winning run on a wild pitch, which is the second-worst way for a pitcher to lose a game (after a bases-loaded walk). The bullpen gave up two runs in 6 1/3 innings.

* 6/21, at Cubs: This one was the starter's fault. Sowers gave up six runs in 4 1/3, and the offense was punchless against rookie Randy Wells. The bullpen gave up zero runs in 3 2/3 innings.

So during the six-game slide, the starters' ERA is 6.96, and the bullpen ERA is 8.44. And that's why the Indians have lost six games in a row.

NFL out-punishes court system on Stallworth case

Well, Browns wide receiver Donte' Stallworth got 30 days in jail for killing a man with his car while driving drunk. Whether or not you or I would get the same sentence if we did the same thing is an open question, but I won't address that here.

As Browns fans, many of us probably had the initial reaction upon hearing of that sentence along the line of: Well, that's over with. Maybe he can come back and contribute on the field this year. But Roger Goodell had other ideas, suspending Stallworth indefinitely. And good for Goodell. Stallworth is, from what I understand, a basically good guy who made a colossal mistake, but the NFL can't be having its players getting loaded and driving around killing people.

I guess we'll see how long "indefinitely" is, but I hope we can all agree that a man's life means a lot more than football. And maybe Goodell's swift punishment of Stallworth will help prevent more such tragedies in the future.

Pitching pandemonium

There's plenty of blame to go around for the Indians' ugly 14-12 loss to the Brewers yesterday. Carl Pavano was never sharp, and gave up six runs on nine hits, including a Ryan Braun home run, in struggling through five innings. And the bullpen was even worse. Greg Aquino, Luis Vizcaino, Matt Herges and Rafael Perez each gave up two runs — though it should be pointed out that Herges' runs didn't score until Perez was on the mound. Perez gave up the Prince Fielder grand slam that put the Brew Crew ahead 13-12, and gave up two other hits and a walk. He never did record an out.

Perez was once one of the better set-up men in the majors, but he sure doesn't fit that description these days. He's been about as good at pitching as George Armstrong Custer was at battlefield planning. In 17 1/3 innings this year, Perez has given up 23 runs, all earned, for an 11.94 ERA. He's struck out 14, which is pretty good; but also walked 14, which is very, very bad. He spent most of May in Columbus, and I hope he liked that city, because he'll be back soon.

The Tribe offense seems to be humming along pretty well, I'm glad to report. Their 12 runs came with the help of four homers, and I just read that Grady Sizemore will be back in a week to 10 days. If they can just get the bullpen straightened out ...

Aw, let's face it. That's not going to happen this year. Too bad.

Shaq in Cleveland?

You've probably all heard the rumors, and they're apparently true. The Cavaliers are talking to the Suns about a trade that would allegedly send the great Shaquille O'Neal to Cleveland in exchange for Sasha Pavlovic and Ben Wallace. Pavlovic was a starter on the team that went to the Finals in '07, but no longer plays much; and Wallace is a former All-Star who is no longer the player he was, and is now contemplating retirement.

So if that part of the rumor is true, the Cavs would be basically getting something for close to nothing. And according to this story at ESPN.com, that's not going to be enough to get Shaq. The report says the Suns are interested in Delonte West, but I'd sure hate to see him go in exchange for a 37-year-old, even if it is Shaquille O'Neal.

On the other hand, Shaq is coming off a fine season, in which he averaged 17.8 points and 8.4 rebounds a game for the also-ran Suns. Teamed up with LeBron James and Mo Williams, he wouldn't be a good bet to put up those scoring numbers, but I think it's pretty obvious he's still got most of what he had in his younger days in Orlando and Los Angeles.

The obvious question is, would Shaq have made the difference in the Eastern Conference Finals against the Magic? They beat us with a strong perimeter game, made possible in large part by Dwight Howard's dominance in the paint. I love Zydrunas Ilgauskas, but he wasn't able to do much to slow Howard down. Somebody like O'Neal, who's just three years older than Z, might have been able to do something about that. And wouldn't you love to see LeBron and Shaq together? Z would gladly come off the bench to make room for Shaq, and I wouldn't be surprised to see both of them on the floor at the same time sometimes, as their skill sets are very different.

These talks are reportedly in the very preliminary stages, so it sounds like it'll be a while before anything gets done, if it ever does. But I don't mind telling you I hope it happens.

Domination!

I'm sure anyone interested enough in Cleveland sports to be reading this blog is aware of what Cliff Lee did last night. But just to recap, he took a no-hitter into the eighth inning and wound up with a three-hit shutout of the Cardinals. My question is, who jinxed him by saying "no-hitter" in the eighth? Because clearly, we fans have that kind of power over the events on the field.

Seriously, the reigning AL Cy Young is having another fine season, even if he doesn't have a big pile of wins to show for it. He's now 4-6 with a 2.88 ERA, good for seventh in the league. He is second in the league in innings pitched — no small matter when you're dealing with this Indians bullpen — and 11th in strikeouts. He's walked just 20 in his 97 innings, and given up just five home runs. So he's doing quite well in the defense-independent pitching stats.

Choo-choo Choo

For the second straight night, Shin-Soo Choo was one of the heroes last night in the Indians' 7-3 win over the Cardinals. Choo went 3-for-4 and knocked in three runs, and didn't need no stinking seagulls to do it this time. He'd been struggling lately, so it's nice to see him break out a little bit. Let's hope he can keep it going.

David Huff, who got the win to improve to 2-2, had his best start as a major-leaguer, in his sixth try. Huff went 7 1/3 innings and left with the score 5-1. Joe Smith gave up back-to-back singles to Albert Poo Holes and former Indian Ryan Ludwick to score two more runs that were charged to Huff, but he and Rafael Perez finished a shaky eighth that ended with a bases-loaded ground ball to short. Huff's ERA dropped to a still-ugly 7.39, but it's definitely moving in the right direction. He got battered in his first two major-league starts, after which his ERA stood at 17.55, and then with each start fell to 10.97, then 9.77, 8.71, and now 7.39. At this rate, he'll be under 1 in no time. (Yeah, I know. I'm just kidding.)

The Tribe offense came right back with two more in the bottom of the eighth, courtesy of a Victor Martinez two-run double, and Kerry Wood pitched a perfect ninth in a non-save situation. Wood has had some rough outings too, as we all know, but last night's performance got his ERA under 5, and he hasn't given up a run in his last 10 outings.

I have to take issue with one of Eric Wedge's tactical moves last night. After Ryan Garko led off the seventh with a double, Wedge pulled him in favor of pinch-runner Trevor Crowe. I understand what Wedge was trying to do there, as it was then a 2-1 game and he wanted to get an insurance run. But the Indians' offense still had nine outs to work with, counting the bottom of the ninth, which they proved not to need. That meant Garko's spot in the order would probably come up again, and Crowe came into the game hitting .185. Seemed to me the Indians were more likely to get another run via Garko's bat than Crowe's legs. Sure enough, Crowe didn't score a run (he got thrown out at the plate), and he did come up to bat in the bottom of the eighth, whereupon he promptly struck out.

But hey, a win's a win. At 28-35, the Tribe is now just a half-game behind the White Sox for third place, and 2 1/2 behind the Twins for second. The first-place Tigers are seven in front of the Indians, but we've got to take things one step at a time. There's still 99 games to go.

Byrd vs. bird

Waiting for Next Year undoubtedly gets many more hits per day than Of Fair Hooker, which makes sense because they have nine regular posters, while I have just me. And they do a fine job. So it probably doesn't make much difference to them to have me sending people over there to view their posts. But I just have to alert my readers to this post, which is a boxing-style "tale of the tape" between Paul Byrd and the bird Shin-Soo Choo's game-winning hit bounced off of the other day. It made me laugh out loud.

On a wing and a prayer

I've often said that if you watch a baseball game from start to finish, there's a good chance you'll see something you've never seen before — even if you've watched thousands of baseball games in your life. The ending to last night's Indians-Royals game was one of those things. I've never seen a seagull deflect a ball off its wing, causing the center fielder to misplay it and allowing the winning run to score. It's a pretty good bet I'll never see it again.

Here's how it happened, for those who missed it. In the bottom of the tenth, with the score tied at 3, Mark DeRosa singled off Kyle Farnsworth, who then walked Victor Martinez to bring up Shin-Soo Choo. Choo sent a solid single to center field, where a flock of seagulls were hanging out. Center fielder Coco Crisp probably wanted to run so far away. ... As the ball approached, the birds started scattering, and Crisp, who's always been a good egg, got in position to field the ball and wing it home. But one of those seagulls was apparently an Indians fan, and let the ball hit it. Coco had a good bird's eye view of the ball as it bounded past him. DeRosa came home to roost, and that was the game, boys and gulls. This sent the Tribe back into fourth place, which is a real feather in their cap.

My fiancée says I'm a punaholic. I don't know what she's talking about.

That was fun while it lasted

Well, the Indians got out of last place for exactly one day. The Royals totally dominated the Tribe last night, as Gil Meche struck out 11 in seven shutout innings and Carl Pavano had his worst start in months on the way to a 9-0 loss at Progressive Field. Pavano gave up all nine runs on 11 hits — including three homers — in 4 2/3 innings.

But on the plus side, the same fan in left field caught two home runs in the same inning. Unfortunately, they were both off Royal bats.

The Tribe will try to salvage the series tonight, with Jeremy Sowers going against early Cy Young front-runner Zack Greinke. Yeah, I don't see it happening.

Out of the cellar

Good old Mark DeRosa. His line-drive grand slam off Jamey Wright in the bottom of the seventh last night left the park in about three seconds, giving the Indians an 8-4 lead over Kansas City that would turn out to be the final score. I'm not much of a lip reader, but it looked like as DeRosa rounded first, he was shouting an expletive that rhymes with "duck," followed by "yeah." And who could blame him. The Indians' win earned them fourth place in the American League Central, as they traded places in the standings with these same Royals.

That was DeRosa's 10th home run of the year, tying him with Victor Martinez for the team lead; and gave him 42 RBIs on the season, tops on the Tribe. Not bad for a guy who can play any position on the diamond but pitcher and catcher — and I wouldn't be surprised if he's considered the emergency catcher in case Martinez and Kelly Shoppach are both hurt in the same game. At age 34, DeRosa is having a fine season, and seems a good bet to top his career high in home runs, which is the 21 he hit last year for the Cubs. So far, getting him for pitchers Jeff Stevens, Chris Archer and John Gaub — none of whom have reached the majors yet — looks pretty darned good. Of course, that'll change if one of those guys goes to a couple of All-Star games, but that's not particularly likely.

Last night's win came on a day Cliff Lee didn't pitch particularly well, giving up four runs on 11 hits in six innings. Two of those runs should never have scored, though. On Miguel Olivo's single to right in the top of the sixth, Mark Teahen beat Shin-Soo Choo's throw to third, and then slid off the bag before catching it again with his hand. Replays showed Jamie Carroll was tagging Teahen while he was off the bag. Third-base umpire Mike Reilly was looking right at it, but apparently wasn't looking hard enough. That would have been the third out of the inning, and the two runs that scored after that play would never have happened.

But the Tribe came back with four in the bottom of the sixth, thanks to some very generous defensive play by the Royals. On two separate occasions in that inning, throws pulled defenders off bags — and the Royals looked distinctly like a last-place team. Thanks to last night's result, that's just what they are.

Broadcasters aplenty

Today, I have no particularly original thoughts, so I'm posting a link to someone else's blog. One of the authors of Waiting for Next Year has put together a list of his five favorite Cleveland sports announcers of the last 30 years, along with a paragraph about why he likes each of them. His five are, in order, Joe Tait, Nev Chandler, Tom Hamilton, Michael Reghi and Jack Corrigan.

Naturally, any time someone puts together such a list, there will be disagreements, and I respectfully disagree slightly with this list. No argument against Joe Tait; he's the best there is. I'm old enough to remember when Tait did Indians games with Bruce Drennan, and I thought those guys were fantastic together. But he's mostly made his mark as the radio voice of the Cavaliers, and he is brilliant at that job, working without a partner. It's a rare broadcaster who can both entertain and illuminate by himself, and Joe is that guy.

The late Nev Chandler did a fine job as the radio voice of the Browns, and I'm also a big fan of Tom Hamilton, even though he sometimes goes a little bit too crazy for my taste. I really liked Jack Corrigan too, and he was kind enough to reply to an e-mail I sent him a few years ago in which I lamented the fact that he was the odd man out when Channel 43 stopped carrying Indians games. Why they held onto John Sanders over Corrigan is beyond me. People who say baseball is boring must have been watching John Sanders broadcasts.

So that leaves one guy on the list, and it's Michael Reghi. Let me start by saying I really don't have anything against Reghi, and thought he was treated unfairly when the Cavs sent him packing on the cusp of the 2006-07 season in favor of Fred McLeod, whom I consider his inferior as a play-by-play man. Reghi now hosts the afternoon drive-time show on WNKR, and I've listened to him from time to time. He knows his Cleveland sports, and expresses himself articulately about them. But there's always been something that bugged me about Reghi, that I've never been able to quite put my finger on. He somehow seems a little bit cocky, I guess, even though I've never heard any stories that indicate he really is.

I would have liked to see Herb Score on the list. The guy from WFNY obviously didn't care for Herb, saying he "suffered through so many years of Herb Score." Herb misspoke sometimes, and gave some players' names creative pronunciations that he stuck with, but he was a colorful character who knew his baseball and loved Cleveland.

The other glaring oversight I see is the current radio voice of the Browns, longtime Channel 3 sports anchor Jim Donovan. Donovan is similar to Chandler, in that he calls it like it happens and doesn't sugar-coat anything, and will crack the occasional joke at the Browns' expense, which I really like.

So I guess my list would be six. I think I'm entitled to that.

I hate to say it, but ...

It's time to pull the plug on Fausto Carmona. I don't mean that he should be put to death, of course, but he has no business being in a major-league starting rotation right now. He should either be sent down to Columbus or go to the bullpen, or possibly both at the same time, as I understand they have a bullpen in Columbus as well.

After yesterday's debacle against the Twins (seven runs in two innings), Fausto is now 2-6 with a hideous 7.42 ERA. He has walked 41 hitters and struck out just 36 in 60 2/3 innings this year, and given up nine home runs. In his last three starts, he's gone a total of 7 1/3 innings and given up 19 runs, 16 earned. That's an ERA of 19.64. He's not fooling anybody. It's time to give someone else a chance.

It's hard to believe this is the same man who went 19-8 and finished fourth in the A.L. Cy Young voting just two years ago. Maybe there's something wrong with him that we don't know about, or maybe he just doesn't have his head straight right now. Regardless, he's got to go.

P.S. Just to avoid any confusion, I'm just joking about putting him in the bullpen in Columbus. If he goes there, he should start.

Yeah, so the Cavs ...

Well, they had a fine season. They went 66-16, better than any Cavaliers team has ever done in the regular season. They were the first Cavs team ever to have the NBA's best record. They set themselves up such that if they won all their home games, they would run the table. LeBron James was the Cavs' first MVP of the NBA. Mike Brown was named Coach of the Year. Mo Williams was an All-Star, and deservedly so. Anderson Varejao developed into a legitimate NBA starter. They swept their first two postseason series, winning each game by double digits. Barring a Finals sweep (which is possible), they will be the only team to have swept any playoff series this year. They seemed invincible. I could go on and on.

And we all know what happened. The obviously inferior Orlando Magic squashed us like a bug.

The Cavaliers certainly could have won that series. They were never in that game six, but they had great chances to win games one and four. But if one were to look at it that way, one would have to admit that the Magic could have swept, because it was a minor miracle that the Cavs took game two. There is no question that the Orlandoans had the better team in this series.

Of course, once we have fully digested this loss, the talk will inevitably turn to whether or not LeBron James is in his last days as a Cavalier. And if he does, whether or not he will become a Knick. And unless he signs an extension, you and I will get very tired of hearing about it.

It's the offseason. Go Tribe. ... What? ... They're in what place?