Take that, "King"

I don't want to get too carried away about the Cavaliers' 12-point victory over Miami yesterday, but darn it, it feels good to have our guys beat LeBron James and the Heat. (Incidentally, someone held up a sign at the game that said "Welcome to North Beach." Love it.)

Anyway, this game doesn't change anything much for either team. Miami is going to the playoffs, and if the season ended today, they'd be the Eastern Conference's third seed. And the Cavaliers are going to the lottery. At 15-58, they still have the NBA's worst record, a game and a half worse than the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Still, this was sweet. Remember LeBron's first return to Cleveland? When the Cavs came in at 7-9, seeming to have legitimate hopes to contend for a playoff spot, and the Heat ripped them apart and sent them spiraling? Maybe this one will turn them around in the other direction. ... OK, probably not. But let me enjoy this anyway.

Welcome back, Taiter

I didn't realize until this morning that the Cavaliers even had a game last night, much less that Joe Tait, the longtime voice of the Cavs, had returned for it. That, of course, is a function of the relentless patheticity of the Cavaliers this year, combined with the fact that I'm now an engineering student with a wife and kids, and not much time for such things. I haven't even watched much March Madness this year. (No, patheticity is not a word. So I guess I made it up. But I'm not going to compare myself to Shakespeare.)

Anyway, I'm glad to see Tait's back behind the mic. He is in many ways the greatest Cavalier of them all, even though he's never contributed to the Cavs winning (or losing) a single game -- because he HAS contributed to our enjoyment of those games, which is worth an awful lot. And he's been in the broadcast booth for all but a couple of years of the team's four-decade history. He's called the Miracle of Richfield, the 2007 Finals, The Shot, and a whole lot of terrible, terrible basketball. And more important than the fact that we get to hear him call four more games (he will not travel with the team) is the fact that he's able to work again, five months after heart surgery.

It's somehow fitting that the Cavs got awful again just before Tait retired, considering all the lousy teams he's had a front-row seat for. There is no question that he will deliver the same professional, high-quality play-by-play he has always given us, regardless of how crappy the product on the floor is.

Mixed day in Buckeye-land

As the Ohio State hoopsters prepare to start their expected deep NCAA Tournament run this afternoon, the football team suffers another setback as the five-game suspensions of the five players involved in Tattoogate are upheld by the NCAA, and Jim Tressel volunteers to sit out the same five games as punishment for knowing about their transgressions and not reporting them.

I've already expressed in this space what I think about the rule that ensnared the players, which is basically that they didn't hurt anybody, so what's the big deal. But the rules are in place, and Jim Tressel, who is supposed to be this great integrity guy, knows what they are, or at the very least SHOULD know what they are. On the one hand, I find it hard to fault him for not wanting his players to be punished for not hurting anyone; on the other hand, he knows darn well he and they are all subject to NCAA rules.

Of course, his volunteering to sit out five games doesn't mean he'll serve a five-game suspension and then show up for the Nebraska game in week six. The NCAA is still investigating, and could make his punishment more severe. All this over a few tattoos and trinkets. Crazy.

In other doings:

* The basketball Buckeyes haven't broken any NCAA rules lately, so long as anyone's aware, and are about three hours from starting play as the top overall seed in the Big Dance, against 16-seed Texas-San Antonio. They will of course cruise through this first-round matchup; the next 16 seed that beats a 1 will be the first ever, and these Buckeyes aren't going to lose to some pipsqueak upstart in their home state. That said, there are some potholes waiting for them in the later rounds. Likely opponents within the East Regional include Kentucky, Syracuse and North Carolina, all of which have won national titles in the last 15 years (albeit with different players than they currently have).

* Akron, the college I'm currently attending, is almost certainly about to be eliminated by Notre Dame, but it's nice to see a Northeast Ohio school in the tourney. It looked earlier in the season like Cleveland State might be the real deal, but they foundered right around the time I transferred from Cleveland State to Akron. Hmmm ... (By the way, don't ask me to name any players on either team. I don't want to embarrass you.)

* The Cavaliers won Wednesday night in Sacramento. That's the good news. Hey, there's been precious little of that for this team this year, so we might as well savor it. ... But the bad news is, they followed that up with a never-competitive, absolutely shameful 41-point loss in Portland. They were losing at various points by scores of 24-2, 35-6, 56-18, 74-33 ... you get the idea. It was only because the last three-eighths of the game were considered garbage time that the Blazers didn't double our score for the game. Had they kept their proverbial foot on our throat, it would have been even uglier. This is one of the worst teams in Cavaliers history, and that's not a small feat.

* The Indians' regular season starts in exactly two weeks, and while there's little reason to think they will contend this season, there are reasons to watch. I'm particularly excited about young catcher Carlos Santana, who was just mentioned on ESPN's SweetSpot blog as a potential breakout player for 2011. Some things I didn't know before I read that: Santana walked more than he struck out last year, between Columbus and Cleveland; and his combined AAA-MLB on-base percentage was .529. That's right, .529! Do you have any idea how good that is? Well, I'll tell you. The only players ever to post better OBPs over a full major-league season are named Babe Ruth, Ted Williams and Barry Bonds. Obviously Santana's feat is not in the same league as theirs (both literally and figuratively), but still, this is a special player. And he's not a corner outfielder, as all three of those men were. He's a catcher! A catcher who can get on base with great regularity is a rare find indeed. Joe Mauer's about the only one I can think of, among current major leaguers, and even Mauer doesn't walk that much.

Jeff Brown thinks the Cavaliers stink

Of Fair Hooker correspondent Jeff Brown weighed in with this today:

The Cavaliers had a nice little stretch there between Feb. 11 - Mar. 4, when they went 4-4, including two beatdowns of the Knicks.

Alas, they have reverted back to their old ways, losing four in a row by an average of more than 16 points.

And of course, prior to their 4-4 stretch, they had lost 26 in a row, meaning they are a mere 4-30 over their past 34 games! (a winning percentage of .117 !)

Steve, don't allow yourself to get seduced by a short 8-game streak in which the Cadavers managed to eek out a .500 record!

I'm wanting to protect you from too much disappointment and overblown expectations -- you see, Steve, the Cavaliers still really stink.

What do you think?

Well, yes. Of course they do.

Oh, sure, we've got some useful players -- J.J. Hickson, in particular, has shown real flashes of brilliance from time to time, and Baron Davis has done well in his limited Cavalier action. But in terms of building a successful team down the road, there aren't many useful pieces here. Anderson Varejao has been hurt most of the year, but he's a fine player. Outside of that -- well, let's see, Christian Eyenga might develop, and fellow rookies like Samardo Samuels and Manny Harris could become nice players too. But not one of the guys listed here is a cornerstone-type player. We're going to have to hope we get one of those in the 2011 draft.

The good news? We'll probably have more lottery balls than anybody else.

If only the Cavs could play the Knicks 82 times

I don't have time to blog much these days(1), obviously(2), but I'm home alone on a Saturday night(3), and my fingers still work(4), so here goes:

* The Cavaliers have now broken two 26-game losing streaks in the past month: A 26-game overall losing streak, and now a 26-game road losing streak. And somehow, the over-.500 New York Knicks cannot beat the NBA's worst team, even in their own building. How is this possible? As a Cleveland sports blogger, I should probably try to come up with an answer, but I don't have one. The Knicks have no obvious weaknesses that the Cavs seem particularly suited to exploiting. I'm inclined to think it's just a coincidence that the Fighting Byrons have played three of their best games of the year against the Knicks. But if our boys beat them again on April 3 ... well, it'll probably be another coincidence.

* In a somewhat related note, the Cavs are now 1-0 with Baron Davis on the floor. My friend Jeff Brown(5) had his doubts about the Baron's dedication when we acquired him, as evidenced by this e-mail from March 2:

So here are a series of questions relative to our beloved Cleveland Cavaliers, in reverse order of relevance:

Q: Will Baron Davis thrive with the Cavs, sign an extension, show leadership, play hard, and be a model citizen and role model for the other players?

Q: Will Baron Davis play out his remaining 2 1/2 years of contract with the Cavs?

Q: Will Baron Davis play at all the rest of this season?

Q: Will Baron Davis ever wear a Cavaliers uniform?

Q: Does Baron Davis really have an injury that's preventing him from playing right now?

Q: Has Baron Davis even arrived in Cleveland yet?

Q: Does Baron Davis have any intention whatsoever of playing for the Cavs?

Q: Has Baron Davis earned enough money in his career to simply tell the Cavs to shove it?

Q: Did Baron Davis get the shaft by being traded from glitzy Los Angeles, where he was having fun throwing alley oops to phenom Blake Griffin, and sent to the basketball purgatory of Cleveland, Ohio, the "mistake on the lake?"

Q: Was Baron Davis the most unhappy person in the universe on the day he found out he was traded to the team that set an all-time NBA record for most consecutive losses? (and recently found out their best player, Jamison, is out for the remainder of the season)

Do you have answers to any of my questions, Steve?

Then, today, he sent me this:

OK, Steve, maybe Baron Davis is going to a positive influence on the Cadavers after all.

(he hit a big 3 pointer to put the Cavs up)

The Cavs own the Knicks, Steve!

I have nothing to add to that.

* The Buckeyes clinched the Big Ten regular-season title today, despite not having played. Iowa somehow beat Purdue today. What does this mean in the grand scheme of things? Very little. The Buckeyes are the top seed in the Big Ten tournament. Big whoop. We all know OSU is going to get a #1 seed in the Big(6) Dance, unless they lose two or three more games, and does anyone really care what happens until then?

* Jason Donald got hit by a pitch today. That was the lead on the Associated Press' story about their 8-3 spring training win over the White Sox(7). That should give you some idea how much spring training games matter. Still, I'm pretty excited about the season starting. Yeah, the Indians are probably going to be lucky to finish about 75-87, but still, it's baseball. And no matter how badly the real-life Indians suck, I can always watch Major League(8) again.

Footnotes(n):

1. I've mentioned several times in this space how busy I am, but for any strangers who may have wandered onto this site, I am currently enrolled in a civil engineering curriculum at the University of Akron, in addition to working part-time at my dad's construction company and being married with four kids at home. I am quite pleased with this situation, regardless of the resulting posting frequency.

2. I haven't posted since February 24. That's a total of nine days. Please see footnote 1 if you think I should post more often.

3. My wife has taken our three 12-and-under kids to her cousin's in Pennsylvania for the weekend. I had to stay home to practice evaluating integrals so I can pass a calculus exam on Tuesday. The oldest "child" (at 17) has gone to a friend's house for the night. So out of six residents of our house, I'm the only one here. I should throw myself a one-person party.

4. I guess this one doesn't really need a footnote. I haven't broken my fingers or gotten terrible arthritis or anything, but that probably is taken as a given unless I say otherwise. Kind of silly to have even mentioned it in the first place.

5. Jeff has become fascinated with the Cavaliers' overwhelming crappiness this year, and has emailed me after almost every Cavs game since the Great Losing Steak of '10-11 was in its middle stages. I haven't had time to respond to him(1), but I do appreciate them all.

6. That's my fourth capitalized use of the word "big" in one paragraph, but I think they're all appropriate, and I'm not changing any of them.

7. They didn't put it in those words. It was somewhat prosaic, actually. I should probably provide a link to it. ... Nah. You can find it if you want.

8. I'll bet you want me to say something about Charlie Sheen, since I mentioned one of his movies and he's been in the news. I'm going to leave you wanting on that. Sorry.

n(o). Apparently blogger.com doesn't provide a way to make superscript. It does, however, provide small text, so I improvised. These footnote references have to be done in small type on the same line as the regular text. So I've put them in parentheses to help set them off. It looks crappy, I know. Take it up with blogger.com.

o(p). I have labeled this footnote "n" for the time being, because I don't know yet, as I'm writing this particular footnote, how many footnotes there will actually be, and "n" is the first letter in the word "number." And I probably won't feel like going back to change it, so I'm explaining it now instead.

p. I have labeled this footnote "o" since it's the next letter after "n." I probably don't have to explain why the footnote explaining the previous footnote is "p," based on the established pattern established by footnote "o."