And so it continues

So you say you're dying to hear my thoughts on yesterday's Browns game? Here they are: It sucked.

What? You were hoping for more? All right, here's more: It really sucked.

Fine, I'll give you some thoughts, in no particular order.

• Losing to division rivals is always unpleasant, especially in this division. We have a special brand of hatred for each of our AFC North foes. Our hatred for the Bengals is probably an 8 or a 9 on a scale of 1 to 10 — which makes them by far the least hated of the three, but it still hurts a little every time we lose to them. Still, would you rather they win the division, or Pittsburgh or Baltimore? By that logic, it's not so bad.

• Shaun Rogers' penalty at the end of the first half was typical of this Browns season. He tackled Cincinnati quarterback Carson Palmer from behind, by the shoulders, which is now called a horse-collar tackle and has been a personal foul in the NFL since 2005. This happened with no time left on the clock, and gave the Bengals enough yardage to kick a field goal. It didn't really affect the outcome of the game, but imagine if the Browns had managed to score another touchdown in the fourth quarter and lost 16-14. That field goal would have been huge.

• The Bengals out-gained the Browns, 306 yards to 169. The defensive effort was not bad at all, but once again, the offense was hideous. Brady Quinn, coming off his best game as a pro in last week's loss to Detroit, went 15-for-34 for 100 yards. Quinn did make a nice catch on a Josh Cribbs pass from the wildcat formation, and he also scored the Browns' only touchdown with his legs, but this was not a strong effort. And it was the seventh time the Browns have been held under 10 points this year.

• Speaking of the Browns' defense, they held Palmer to 110 yards passing on 13-of-24. But they did allow more than 200 yards on the ground, including Larry Johnson's first 100-yard effort since last year, when he was with the Chiefs. Still, the defense was good enough to win, had the offense done anything.

• The Browns are one of three 1-10 teams in the league, which of course is significant because they have a shot at the first pick in next year's draft. The Browns' remaining schedule includes two games they could conceivably win, against Kansas City and Oakland, who are both 3-8. The other two 1-10 teams — the Buccaneers and the Rams – have no real cupcakes left on their schedules. The Buccaneers' only win is against 7-4 Green Bay, which puts a win against someone like 4-7 Seattle or 4-7 Carolina within the realm of possibility. But the Rams' only win was against the 2-9 Lions. All but one of their remaining games are against sub-.500 opponents, but I can't see them beating any of them, even the 4-7 Bears. But we'll see, I guess.

Turkey day fun

Since I have nothing much going on today, I wanted to blog about something, but there's not much going on today in Cleveland sports. So I'm going to write about my Thanksgiving.

I learned a fun new party game yesterday at my wife's parents' house -- spoons, in which spoons are placed in the middle of the table, everybody gets four cards and passes cards around the table until somebody has four of a kind, then that person grabs a spoon, at which point everybody tries to grab a spoon. But since there is one spoon fewer than the number of players, somebody always loses. And if two people are grabbing a spoon at the same time, it becomes a battle of strength. At one point, I accidentally elbowed my mother-in-law in the face trying to pull a spoon out of the middle, then had to fight her for that spoon. I got it from her, by the way. There's something very strange about forcibly pulling something out of your mother-in-law's hand, even if it is just a game.

So it's kind of like musical chairs, but with spoons. And it's a fun way to mangle your friends and family. There were lots of broken fingernails and such, though nobody broke any bones, that I know of. There was biting, though -- and not a quick nibble, but a long, drawn-out "my teeth aren't letting go of your forearm until your hand lets go of that spoon" type of thing. And at one point, my pregnant wife, who was next to me at the end of the table and therefore had to stand to grab a spoon, knocked her chair over in standing up, but didn't realize she had knocked her chair over, and when she went to sit back down in her chair, fell all the way to the floor. I should add that nobody laughed at her until they made sure she was OK.

It's a rough game. And I look forward to playing it again soon.

1-15, here we come

Brady Quinn had by far his best day as a pro in yesterday's game against the Lions, and when he completed his fourth touchdown pass of the day to Michael Gaines, it looked good for the Browns to get their second win of the season. A Jamal Lewis run for a 2-point conversion gave the Browns a 37-31 lead with 5:44 to play. But ...

Phil Dawson's kickoff went out of bounds, giving Matthew Stafford and the Lions the ball at the 40. Fortunately, the drive ended with a Brodney Pool interception at the goal line with 3:40 left on the clock, giving Quinn and the Browns' offense the chance to put it away. The Browns managed to get one first down, taking the ball as far as their own 42 before they had to punt -- forcing the Lions to use the rest of their timeouts in the process.

Browns punter Reggie Hodges is no Dave Zastudil, but he sure did his job on this one, punting it 47 yards to the Lions' 11, where former Brown Dennis Northcutt fielded it and returned it one yard to the 12. So with 1:46 to go, the Lions had to go 88 yards with no timeouts. ... And the Browns employed what we all know to be the worst defensive scheme in the world, the prevent. It's intended to prevent big gains by allowing smaller ones. And in Eric Mangini and Rob Ryan's defense (no pun intended), it almost worked. The Lions did manage a few 11- to 17-yard gains, but their receivers were unable to get out of bounds to stop the clock, so at least in theory, the time off the clock was worth the yardage for the Browns.

When the clock got to 0:08 with the Lions having the ball at the Browns' 32, things were looking pretty good. They had one shot, maybe two, at the end zone. They might have been able to complete a quick pass to the sideline to get a little closer, but that's a risky proposition because the Browns were covering the sidelines pretty well. So they took one shot at a touchdown. The Browns put on a three-man rush and dropped everybody back to cover the end zone. It worked like a charm, as Pool intercepted Stafford's hail mary.

But Hank Poteat pulled the boner of the year, tackling a receiver who probably wouldn't have had a shot at the ball anyway. A defensive pass interference call in the end zone gives the offense the ball at the 1, and because the game can't end on a defensive penalty, the Lions got one more chance even though there was no time left on the clock. But Stafford got hurt on the previous play, meaning the Lions had to send out a completely un-warmed-up Daunte Culpepper to run the play. The Lions had no timeouts left, so there was nothing to be done about it. Presumably, Culpepper would just hand the ball off, since you can't expect a cold quarterback to throw the ball, or even run it himself.

And that's when Mangini pulled the coaching boner of the year, calling a timeout that gave the Lions a chance to evaluate Stafford and decide he had one more play in him. I understand that Mangini wanted to take a minute and make sure he had his defense set up properly, but it seems he totally failed to take into account the benefit the Lions would derive from a timeout. As we all know, Stafford came in and threw a touchdown pass that tied the game, and Jason Hanson's extra point ended it.

Hank Poteat feels awful for causing that penalty, and while it was a stupid thing for him to do, it was done in the heat of battle. Mangini has no excuse for calling that timeout.

The Browns have six games left. The schedule goes like this: Cincinnati (currently 7-3), San Diego (7-3), Pittsburgh (6-4), Kansas City (3-7), Oakland (3-7), and Jacksonville (6-4). The Raiders have looked terrible at times, but they managed to beat the Bengals yesterday behind backup quarterback Bruce Gradkowski. If he plays, the Browns will lose that game. Kansas City has had a bad year too, but they beat the Steelers yesterday. I have a hard time imagining the Browns managing to get another win this year. Yesterday's game was their best shot, and they blew a 21-point lead against one of the NFL's worst teams. This team is cruising for 1-15, which would make them the worst team in Browns' history -- even worse than Tim Couch's 2-14 expansion team in '99.

The Onion picks on LeBron

No doubt playing off LeBron James' recent announcement that he would shed the number 23 in honor of Michael Jordan, and asked other players to do the same, the fine satirists at The Onion have put up a story about LeBron deciding to stop jumping during games, because that's what MJ did best. And yes, he wants other players to stop jumping too.

It's a joke, of course, but like a lot of The Onion's content, the headline is funnier than the story. And it ends with a mention of LeBron going out after making this statement and scoring 38 points Wednesday against the last-place Wizards with his feet flat on the floor. He did in fact score 34 points in a loss to the Wizards. They might as well have gotten that detail right.

Countdown to The Game

Yes, Ohio State plays Michigan at noon tomorrow. Yes, in this part of the country, that's always a big game. But it's been quite a while since The Game has meant this little. In recent years, at least one of the teams has always been playing for a BCS berth, if not a spot in the National Championship game.

This year? The Buckeyes are going to the Rose Bowl, win or lose; and the Wolverines are just trying to get out of last place in the Big Ten. At 5-6 overall (1-6 in the conference), Michigan would be bowl-eligible with a win, but so the heck what? These are not the Wolverines of Bo Schembechler or Lloyd Carr. This is perhaps a slightly better Michigan team than the one that went 3-9 (2-6) last year, but Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez has probably got one more season to turn this thing around.

The Buckeyes are 13-point favorites tomorrow, but if they don't win by at least 20, they should be embarrassed. And they do at least have a national ranking to play for. They could get into the top 10 in the nation with a win tomorrow in Ann Arbor. If they then win the Rose Bowl, maybe they get into the top five. It's not a national championship, but I'd take it.

I'm not sure how I feel about Michigan being so cruddy right now. Sure, it's nice that we get a chance to whale on them, but part of being an Ohio State fan is being involved in arguably college football's biggest rivalry. If Michigan sucks, what rivalry is there?

Cavs' streak ends

The Cavaliers' five-game winning streak came to an end last night in a 108-91 loss to a Washington Wizards team that broke its own six-game losing streak in the process. How can this be? Well:

• Antawn Jamison was playing his first game of the season, after missing the Wizards' first nine games with a shoulder injury, and returned with a vengeance, scoring 31 points and pulling in 10 rebounds. He was a monster.
  
• The Cavaliers were playing the second night of a back-to-back, on the road, while the Wizards had been off the previous three days. And it was pretty obvious that played a part, as the Cavs got off to a fast start — up 17 in the second quarter — but faded down the stretch.
  
• The Cavs were without Shaquille O'Neal or Anderson Varejao, which left them with a combination of a suddenly very old Zydrunas Ilgauskas, J.J. Hickson and Darnell Jackson to man the post. And they simply couldn't hang. Z and Jackson each scored 10 points, but Hickson had his worst game in recent memory.
• Mo Williams, a very hot-and-cold shooter, was cold as ice in this one, going 2-for-13 from the floor.
• The Cavaliers committed 26 fouls, to the Wizards' 15. Whether that's because the Cavs actually fouled more or because the officials were calling the Cavs more tightly in enemy territory, it was definitely a factor. The Wizards went 31-of-35 from the line, the Cavaliers 14-of-15. That 17-point edge is equal to the differential in the final score.
  
• And the man the folks all pay to see, LeBron James, had a bad second half. He put up typical numbers — 34 points, nine assists — but turned the ball over six times, committed four fouls plus a technical, missed some shots badly, and while he had some fine moments, he totally failed to take control of the game. He also hurt his left wrist on a dunk, though it seems unlikely that it will make him miss any time. Hey, even superstars have off nights.

Speaking of that technical foul, it came after one of the most ludicrously bad calls I've ever seen in my life. LeBron drove the lane and was practically tackled by DeShawn Stevenson, but the official called a freaking jump ball. I can't imagine what he was looking at.

The Cavaliers now stand at 8-4, half a game ahead of Milwaukee for first place in the Central Division. This is a very good team that had a bad night.

Whatever, LeBron

So LeBron James is going to give up his #23 next year in honor of his hero, Michael Jordan. That's all well and good. I thought it was kind of dumb for him to choose that number in the first place, given that it was already associated with a player that many observers consider the greatest of all time. I felt he should have chosen a different number and blaze his own trail. But he chose #23 to honor Jordan, and now he wants to give it up for the same reason.

But he isn't stopping there. He wants all NBA players to give up #23. And he has precedent to lean on, from other sports. Major League Baseball has retired Jackie Robinson's #42, and the NHL has retired Wayne Gretzky's #99, so why shouldn't the NBA do the same?

Well, if you ask me, both of those gestures were silly to begin with, but regardless, they're different situations. Robinson's number wasn't retired because he was a great player (though, of course, he was). It was retired because he was the player who broke the color line. Really, that example has no bearing on LeBron's idea.

Gretzky is a much closer comparison. There are very few observers who do not believe Gretzky was the greatest who ever played hockey, and that's why his number is retired. But the thing about Gretzky's number is that he was given #99 to begin with because everybody knew he was special. As far as I know, he's the only player ever to wear #99 in hockey. It would be sacrilege for any other player to even consider it. There have been dozens and dozens of #23's in basketball. Sure, everybody associates it with Jordan, but it's obviously far from unthinkable for other players to wear it, unless they're playing for the Bulls. And while Jordan may be the consensus choice for greatest ever, can we all agree that he was better than Oscar Robertson or Bill Russell or Wilt Chamberlain or Magic Johnson or Larry Bird or ...? I'm not prepared to make that judgment. And you can't retire all those numbers league-wide.

So I don't see any reason for the NBA to retire #23 for every team, but I do think it's a positive step for LeBron to give it up, so he can have a number that's not already associated with one of the all-time greats. The number he's switching to? It's #6, the number worn by his second-favorite player, Julius Erving. ... Oh, LeBron.

I just hope that whatever number he winds up with, it's on a Cavaliers jersey.

Browns sell out, Lewis pops off

So it seems the Browns sold out Monday night's game against the Ravens just in time to avoid a blackout. I guess enough people are eager to see Brady Quinn's triumphant return (OK, his return, anyway) to the starter's job. I don't have high hopes for him or the team in general, but as it turns out, I've got Tuesday off from work, so I'll stay up and watch it. That doesn't mean I'm happy about how late it will start, but I keep harping on that, and even I'm tired of hearing me say it.

In other Browns-related news, Jamal Lewis popped off yesterday about how hard Coach Mangini is working the team. Money quote: "You can work hard as you want. You can work all day, seven days a week all the way up to Sunday in practice. But at the same time, if you're going to work like that, then maybe on Sunday you're probably not going to get what you want out of your players."

Lewis went on and on like that. Lewis is frustrated, as well he should be. He's having the worst season of his 10-year career as an individual, and this is no doubt the worst team he's ever played on. I don't think he should be running his mouth to reporters instead of talking to his coach, but since he's planning to retire after this season anyway, he really has nothing to lose. I'd bet there are other players on the team who feel the same way, and maybe they're right. I liked the Mangini hire when they made it, but now I'm thinking he was the wrong guy at the wrong time.

We need mo' Mo

In a rematch of last year's Eastern Conference Finals, the Cavaliers took the Orlando Magic to the woodshed last night, in a game that was never as close as the final score indicated. The Cavs' lead was in the 20s all night, until the Magic outscored them 25-14 in garbage time, aka the fourth quarter.

We were all anxious to see how Shaquille O'Neal would do against Dwight Howard, who manhandled the Cavs in the aforementioned series last spring, and he did not disappoint. Though Howard did not miss a shot from the floor, he only took three, and finished with 11 points. He was also in foul trouble for much of the contest. (As was Shaq, I might add.) Shaq only scored 10, but his job is no longer to be the offensive force he used to be — not on a team with LeBron James.

Speaking of the King, he was his usual self, pouring in 36 points to go with eight rebounds. And Mo Williams was just phenomenal in leading the Cavs to their big first-half lead — they were up 15 at the half, led by Mo's 22 points on 9-for-9 shooting, including four three-pointers. Mo cooled off in the second half, but still wound up with 28 on the night.

And J.J. Hickson, starting at power forward, made a real positive conribution. Hickson had nine points and six rebounds in just 23 minutes, and always seemed to be around the ball. Hickson's plus-minus for the game was +13, which was tops on the team.

Next up, the Cavs have Dwyane Wade and the Heat tonight. It'll be a tough assignment, coming on the second day of a back-to-back, but I look forward to seeing it.

A satisfying Belcher

New Tribe manager Manny Acta has begun assembling his staff, starting with new pitching coach Tim Belcher. Belcher grew up in Sparta, Ohio, about a two-hour drive from Progressive Field down I-71. He pitched 14 seasons in the bigs, winning 146 games. He spent the last eight years with a much longer title in the Indians organization: special assistant to the baseball operations department. You don't know what that means? Well, according to Paul Hoynes' Plain Dealer article:

As a special assistant, Belcher worked with the Indians player development system in instructing and evaluating pitching talent at every level in the minor league system. He also scouted other teams, providing advance scouting reports for the last several years for the Tribe's big-league coaching staff.

It's hard to evaluate managers, and even harder to evaluate pitching coaches, especially pitching coaches who have never been pitching coaches before. We do know that the Indians have developed a few fine pitching prospects the last few years, with varying degrees of success at the big-league level, and perhaps Belcher deserves some credit for that. But perhaps not.

Who's the worst?

Now that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have erased the goose-egg in their win column, there are no winless teams left in the NFL. So there are now five teams tied with the worst record, at 1-7: Tampa Bay, St. Louis, Kansas City, Detroit, and ... well, you know who the fifth team is. So those teams are in a race of sorts for the first pick in the 2010 draft. If the Browns get that pick, it will surely rescue the franchise, as we've seen how well this organization has done with the first overall pick. (OK, that was unfair. The Tim Couch and Courtney Brown selections were made several regimes ago; even the owner has changed since then. Still, it goes to show that a top pick is far from a panacea.)

But the question for today's post is not which team is most likely to get the top draft pick. The question I wish to explore is, which is the worst team in the National Football League? Let's take them all individually, in no particular order, using the major stats along with a few lesser-considered ones:

1. Browns: Lose by an average score of 26.1 to 9.8 (-16.3); 31st in total offense; 32nd in total defense; 31st in third-down conversions; 23rd in opponents' third-down conversions; -11 in turnover ratio (which, by the way, is 32nd in the NFL).

2. Chiefs: Lose by an average score of 25.6 to 15.8 (-9.8); 30th in total offense; 30th in total defense; 32nd in third-down conversions; 22nd in opponents' third-down conversions; +1 in turnover ratio.

3. Rams: Lose by an average score of 27.6 to 9.6 (-18); 26th in total offense; 27th in total defense; 24th in third-down conversions; 32nd in opponents' third-down conversions; -7 in turnover ratio.

4. Buccaneers: Lose by an average score of 28.9 to 16.8 (-12.1); 28th in total offense; 29th in total defense; 25th in third-down conversions; 29th in opponents' third-down conversions; -2 in turnover ratio.

5. Lions: Lose by an average score of 29.6 to 16.6 (-13); 25th in total offense; 25th in total defense; 16th in third-down conversions; 16th in third-down conversions allowed; -4 in turnover ratio.

These are all dreadful teams, obviously. The Chiefs are the only ones who lose by less than 10 points a game, probably because they're also the only ones with a favorable turnover ratio. The Lions have the best rankings in the other stats I chose.

So that leaves the Browns, Bucs and Rams for the title of worst. The Rams have been outscored the most, the Browns take the cake for worst combination of yards gained vs. yards allowed. The Buccaneers have no such claims, so it's between the Rams and Browns. I think the Browns have managed to do slightly better on the scoreboard, despite the obvious inferiority of their main units, because of the superiority of their special teams. We all know about Josh Cribbs, and the Browns' one win this season was largely because of a great effort by Dave Zastudil and the punt team.

So the worst team in the NFL is the St. Louis Rams, with the Browns a very close second. Does anybody wonder why there are still tickets available to next Monday's game against the Ravens? Why would anyone want to stay out past midnight on a school night to watch the NFL's second-worst team most likely get clobbered? I'm kind of hoping that game doesn't sell out, because then it will be on TV, and I'll feel compelled to waste my evening watching it.

Pryor shines in homecoming

The Buckeyes are in control of their own destiny — at least in terms of winning another Big Ten title — in large part because of Pennsylvania native Terrelle Pryor's big game in his home state. Pryor passed for two touchdowns and rushed for one in Ohio State's commanding 24-7 victory over Penn State, and while his overall numbers weren't particularly impressive (8-for-17 passing for 125 yards; five rushes for 50 yards), he made some big plays and avoided any major mistakes. He missed an opportunity for a touchdown at the end of the first half when his throw to a wide-open Dane Sanzenbacher went long, but that was probably the biggest mistake he made, and you'll take that every time.

The Buckeye defense was fantastic, particularly against the Nittany Lions' running game. Evan Royster, who had averaged 95.4 yards a game coming in, went for just 36 yards on 13 carries yesterday, his lowest total of the season. They also held Daryll Clark to 125 yards passing, which was also his lowest total of the year; and got him for one interception, Ross Homan's pick midway through the fourth quarter, which short-circuited Penn State's attempt to mount a comeback.

If the Buckeyes can beat Iowa next week in the Horseshoe, they'll go to the Rose Bowl no matter what happens the following week against Michigan; the other teams that could tie them at 6-2 in the Big Ten would be Iowa, Penn State and Wisconsin, which they would all have beaten this year under that scenario. And you have to like their chances against Iowa, as it appears Hawkeye quarterback Ricky Stanzi will miss the game after hurting his ankle in yesterday's loss to Northwestern. The Hawkeyes showed in that game that they aren't the same team without Stanzi, who probably would have led them to victory against the Mildcats.

Obviously, there will be no Big Ten team in the national championship this year, but if the Buckeyes get into the Rose Bowl and win it, they could get back into the top 10, and maybe even the top five. And if they do win the Big Ten, it would be the fifth straight year they've won or shared that title. That's definitely worth rooting for.

Baseball season is over

It had been nine years since the Yankees were able to spend their way to a championship. They came close in a couple of epic World Series — that 2001 series against the Diamondbacks was probably the best World Series I can remember — but fell each year to a team that had a lower payroll. Usually a much lower payroll. Last year, they didn't even make the playoffs, thanks to a bunch of young upstarts from Tampa Bay.

But these Yankees, the most expensive team ever assembled, would not be denied. All their high-priced stars contributed somewhere along the way, from A-Rod to CC to Jeter to Godzilla, the series MVP. (Speaking of which, they say he's got to go ...)

It's kind of hard for me to reflect on this series in any meaningful way, because (a) there wasn't much late-game drama, and (b) though I tried my best, I didn't manage to get through one single game without falling asleep, because they started so late and I get up early. I did wake up for the ends of a couple of them, including last night, but ... well, I won't belabor the point. (See my October 30 post for more thoughts about the time the games started; I would add that last night's game ended at almost midnight.)

And the New York Yankees have won their 27th title. I suppose we should be glad to have had eight seasons in there with someone else hoisting the trophy. May we go at least eight years before their next one.

Nice comeback

Last night's 102-90 win over the Wizards was the Cavaliers' first win over a good team this year, and was thanks in large part to the best performance so far of Shaquille O'Neal's five-game-old Cleveland career. The Big Witness put in 21 points on 7-of-9 shooting, with eight rebounds, to nicely complement LeBron James' 27 points, eight rebounds and six assists, as the Cavs came back from a 39-21 second-quarter deficit to make the Wizards disappear.

It wasn't just the King-n-Shaq Show. Mo Williams knocked in 15 and Boobie Gibson added 14; and in fact, the Cavs pulled away in the fourth quarter, during which LeBron only played four minutes. But the main reason the Cavs won this game is because the Wizards had no answer to Shaq. That's the reason we got him, and it was great to see.

"Kokinis" rhymes with ... well, Venus

So George Kokinis' stint in Cleveland is over, after just eight games. The Browns are saying very little, but speculation is that even though Eric Mangini was instrumental in bringing Kokinis here, the two have not gotten along at all. So it seems Mangini won a power struggle against the guy he himself handpicked to be the general manager.

The GM is typically the guy who makes the personnel decisions, and the guy who discusses them with the media. When a trade is announced, for example, the GM usually makes the announcement. But who heard a peep from Kokinis when Braylon Edwards was traded? Did he actually have anything to do with that trade? Or did Mangini do it all himself? Did Kokinis, in fact, do anything at all for this team? Did he conduct the draft, or was that all Mangini? And if Mangini was the guy who put this dreadful team together, does Kokinis actually deserve to be fired? Probably, if all he did was collect a paycheck and stare out the window all day; but what about Mangini? Sure, it generally takes more than one season to turn a team around, but there is no question this team was better last year under Phil Savage and Romeo Crennel than it is this year under Mangini and Kokinis, er, Mangini again.

This Browns organization is rotten from the top down. I don't know how much blame team owner Randy Lerner deserves for this, but he did hire these guys. He says he's sick over the way the team has played, and I'm sure he means it. But he has more power to do something about it than anybody else in the world. And I've often said that the Browns, like the Chicago Cubs, don't have that much financial incentive to put a quality product on the field because they sell out all the time even if they're terrible. But guess what? Tickets are still available for their next game, Nov. 16 against the Ravens. I don't know about you, but I'm sure as shootin' not going to buy one, and I don't care that much if the game gets blacked out. Maybe Browns fans are finally going to insist that they get their money's worth, and maybe that will make some difference in the way the team is run.

I'm rambling a bit now; please accept my apology for that. Anyway, following this team at this point is a little bit like watching Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet," because you know it's going to end in tragedy. The difference is, there's no poetic prose involved in this tragedy. Just some awful football.

Pathetic. Just pathetic.

Let me start off by saying I didn't watch the Browns' 30-6 loss to the Bears yesterday. It wasn't some sort of protest or conscientious objection, though if these Browns weren't so terrible, I might have chosen to stay home and watch. But my wife wanted to go to a Chinese auction that was being drawn at 2 p.m. at Windham High School, and that sounded like more fun to me than watching the Browns get the crap beaten out of them yet again. And it was! I didn't win anything, but my wife won a Windham football jersey (No. 8; and I wore it the rest of the day, just for the heck of it), a scrapbook set and a lunchbox set.

As the auction wore on, I was checking in from time to time on the Browns, who were predictably pathetic. They were down 16-0 at the half, by which time Derek Anderson was 2-for-9 for 13 yards with an interception and a lost fumble. He had also been sacked once for an 11-yard loss. Eric Mangini must be a very pig-headed man for not going with Brady Quinn to start the second half. As bad as Quinn was at the start of the year, Anderson has played about as badly as I've ever seen an NFL quarterback play, and I'd frankly rather see Brett Ratliff out there right now. The only thing Anderson has proven this year is that he's got no business running an NFL offense.

Anyway, Mangini stuck with Anderson, who rewarded him with a 4-for-8 passing performance in the second half, for 63 yards, and scored a rushing touchdown that was set up by a shanked punt and four Jamal Lewis rushes. Anderson never threw the ball on that one touchdown drive, which started at the Chicago 30.

Lewis announced after the game that this would be his last season, and if I were one of his teammates, I'd be tempted to join him. It can't be fun to play on a team like this.

Delonte's back

From a basketball perspective, it's good to have Delonte West back. The Cavaliers probably would have beaten the Charlotte Bobcats with or without him yesterday, but his 13 points in the second half certainly helped in the 90-79 victory.

But I have my doubts about Delonte West as a human being. I know, he's diagnosed with bipolar disorder and all that, and I can forgive him for carrying three concealed weapons, as long as he didn't actually hurt anybody. And while it was bad that he missed all of training camp and the first few games without giving an excuse, I can accept that he needed some time to get his head together. But his wife had him charged with domestic violence last week, and that's the part I have trouble overlooking. He reportedly grabbed her and tried to take her wedding ring and purse after accusing her of cheating on him. That's far from the worst thing I've ever heard of a man doing to a woman, but still, I have a hard time rooting for a guy who has apparently used his physical strength to overpower his wife.

On the plus side, the Cavs are now 2-2, and still seem like a strong bet to go a long way in the playoffs. Whether they're a championship-caliber team or not remains to be seen, as it will take them some time to gel. But I look forward to enjoying the ride.