Two in a row? Yeah, that's right!

Never mind that the second win in the Browns' two-game winning streak came against one of the worst teams in the NFL. The Browns are also one of the worst teams in the NFL, so any win is worth celebrating.

The story of the Browns' 41-34 win over the Kansas City Chiefs obviously centers around Josh Cribbs and Jerome Harrison, both of whom set records in the game. Cribbs returned two kickoffs for touchdowns, both for three-digit yardage, and they were his seventh and eighth career kickoff returns for touchdowns. That makes him, at age 26, the NFL's career leader in scores on kickoff returns; the previous record of six was held by five others. Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest kickoff returner in NFL history plays for the Cleveland Browns. Not bad for a guy who signed as an undrafted free agent out of Kent State in 2005. Just think of that! Any team in the NFL could have had him, instead of whoever they drafted in the seventh round that year. Without looking at the draft list, I'd wager every last one of them would trade that player for Cribbs.

But Harrison was just as good in this game, if not better. And his story is every bit as unlikely. Harrison came into the game with just 301 rushing yards this season, and just 750 in his four-year career, most of which has been spent as Jamal Lewis' backup. But he ran wild over the Chiefs yesterday, piling up 286 yards, the best single-game rushing performance in Browns history (any time you can break a record held by Jim Brown, that's got to feel pretty good) and the third-best in NFL history, behind the aforementioned Mr. Lewis and the Vikings' Adrian Peterson. Had the game gone into overtime, he'd have probably gotten the record — though I'm sure he's glad it didn't.

Harrison scored three rushing touchdowns, running it in from 71, 8, and 28 yards. It seemed like every time he was handed the ball, he was snapping off at least seven or eight yards. Harrison totally dominated the second half, much as Cribbs dominated the first half. He benefited from some great blocking up front — the same great blocking that allowed Brady Quinn to rush for 39 yards on just four carries — but credit Harrison for making the most of the opportunity.

Speaking of Harrison, I got this curious e-mail from regular Of Fair Hooker correspondent Jeff Brown:

What do you make of Jerome Harrison? Some game, eh? (third highest rushing total in the history of the No Fun League!)

However, what do you make of his "hot dogging" at the end of his last touchdown run, where he straddled the goal line and taunted the defender who was feebly trying to chase him down?

Jeff is a close friend, and I respect his observational ability, but I have no idea where he came up with that. Harrison was not hot-dogging, and I surely didn't see any taunting. With less than a minute left in the game as the Browns were scoring a tie-breaking touchdown, it seemed obvious to me that Harrison was just trying to tick a couple of seconds more off the clock, and give Matt Cassel just a little bit less time to work with.

Regardless, in this dismal season the Browns have had, this was one to remember. With all the talk of Mike Holmgren coming in and possibly taking over the coaching reins in addition to a hypothetical GM role, this must have felt great to Eric Mangini and his staff. And it's far from inconceivable that the Browns could make it three in a row next week against the 5-9 Raiders, though they're playing better lately too, winning three of their last five, including an improbable 20-19 upset of the Broncos yesterday. I sure look forward to watching that game, and I don't think I've said that about the Browns all year.

Who's the worst?

Now that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have erased the goose-egg in their win column, there are no winless teams left in the NFL. So there are now five teams tied with the worst record, at 1-7: Tampa Bay, St. Louis, Kansas City, Detroit, and ... well, you know who the fifth team is. So those teams are in a race of sorts for the first pick in the 2010 draft. If the Browns get that pick, it will surely rescue the franchise, as we've seen how well this organization has done with the first overall pick. (OK, that was unfair. The Tim Couch and Courtney Brown selections were made several regimes ago; even the owner has changed since then. Still, it goes to show that a top pick is far from a panacea.)

But the question for today's post is not which team is most likely to get the top draft pick. The question I wish to explore is, which is the worst team in the National Football League? Let's take them all individually, in no particular order, using the major stats along with a few lesser-considered ones:

1. Browns: Lose by an average score of 26.1 to 9.8 (-16.3); 31st in total offense; 32nd in total defense; 31st in third-down conversions; 23rd in opponents' third-down conversions; -11 in turnover ratio (which, by the way, is 32nd in the NFL).

2. Chiefs: Lose by an average score of 25.6 to 15.8 (-9.8); 30th in total offense; 30th in total defense; 32nd in third-down conversions; 22nd in opponents' third-down conversions; +1 in turnover ratio.

3. Rams: Lose by an average score of 27.6 to 9.6 (-18); 26th in total offense; 27th in total defense; 24th in third-down conversions; 32nd in opponents' third-down conversions; -7 in turnover ratio.

4. Buccaneers: Lose by an average score of 28.9 to 16.8 (-12.1); 28th in total offense; 29th in total defense; 25th in third-down conversions; 29th in opponents' third-down conversions; -2 in turnover ratio.

5. Lions: Lose by an average score of 29.6 to 16.6 (-13); 25th in total offense; 25th in total defense; 16th in third-down conversions; 16th in third-down conversions allowed; -4 in turnover ratio.

These are all dreadful teams, obviously. The Chiefs are the only ones who lose by less than 10 points a game, probably because they're also the only ones with a favorable turnover ratio. The Lions have the best rankings in the other stats I chose.

So that leaves the Browns, Bucs and Rams for the title of worst. The Rams have been outscored the most, the Browns take the cake for worst combination of yards gained vs. yards allowed. The Buccaneers have no such claims, so it's between the Rams and Browns. I think the Browns have managed to do slightly better on the scoreboard, despite the obvious inferiority of their main units, because of the superiority of their special teams. We all know about Josh Cribbs, and the Browns' one win this season was largely because of a great effort by Dave Zastudil and the punt team.

So the worst team in the NFL is the St. Louis Rams, with the Browns a very close second. Does anybody wonder why there are still tickets available to next Monday's game against the Ravens? Why would anyone want to stay out past midnight on a school night to watch the NFL's second-worst team most likely get clobbered? I'm kind of hoping that game doesn't sell out, because then it will be on TV, and I'll feel compelled to waste my evening watching it.