162-0! We can do it! Come on!

My good friend Jeff Brown, who is unquestionably among the most faithful readers of Of Fair Hooker, Elmer Flick and World B. Free, had this to say about today's Indians game:

Steve,

I've got some good news for you -- the Cleveland Indians professional baseball team won their first game of the 2008 season, 10-8, over the Jim Thome-led Chicago White Stockings.

The Tribe is on pace to demolish the single season record for runs scored. Averaging 10 runs per game so far this season, this puts them on track to score 1620 runs!

Also, our ol' buddy Jim Thome is on pace to smash 324 homers this season, which by season's end, would put him at 829 career homers, breaking Barry Bonds hallowed record set last season.

On the down side, the Tribe is also on pace to allow 1296 runs, which would also be a single-season record... but who cares when we score 10 per game?!

Warmly, Jeff

It's no doubt an oversight, but Jeff failed to mention that:

• Franklin Gutierrez is on pace to collect 486 hits, which would shame Ichiro back to Japan for thinking his record-breaking total of 262 in 2004 was impressive.
  
• Casey Blake shares with Gutierrez a 486-RBI pace, which would have them both breaking Hack Wilson's 78-year-old record by mid-June.
  
• Rafael Betancourt is on pace to win 162 games, which would make a mockery of the previous record, Old Hoss Radbourn's 60 wins for the Providence Grays in 1884.
  
• C.C. Sabathia, while he may not want to end the season with an 8.44 ERA, is on pace to strike out 1,134 hitters. Nolan who?

If I may be so bold as to guess at the comedic device Jeff is employing, I believe he means to lampoon the rampant optimism (or pessimism) that comes from fans making too much out of one game, or even the first few games of the season. Sure, it's nice that we got off to a win, but let's not forget that this game means exactly as much as the game scheduled for August 23, the game scheduled for June 8, and the game scheduled for September 28 (the last day of the season).

But it sure was great to see Blake hit that three-run double off the wall in the bottom of the eighth. Baseball is back, ladies and gentlemen. And we've got a darned good team here in Cleveland.